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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Funny
Guys
Father
Sex
Give
Room
Giving
Humor
Adam
Rooms
Walked
Went
Kiss
Guy
Kissing
Talk
Tried

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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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