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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Hollywood
Humor
Funny
Girl
Beautiful
Enough
Silicon
Sink
Girls

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
Adam Ferrara
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
Adam Ferrara
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
Adam Ferrara
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
Adam Ferrara
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
Adam Ferrara
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
Adam Ferrara
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
Adam Ferrara
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
Adam Ferrara
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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
Adam Ferrara
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
Adam Ferrara
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
Adam Ferrara
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
Adam Ferrara
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I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
Adam Ferrara
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
Adam Ferrara
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
Adam Ferrara
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
Adam Ferrara