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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Earth
Rising
Hides
Back
Celebrate
Colored
Favorite
Rabbits
Catholic
Easter
Humor
Grave
Coming
Eggs
Jesus
Holiday
Funny
Graves
Rabbit

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
Adam Ferrara