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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Look
Kingdoms
Mate
Humans
Dinner
Alright
Looks
Animals
Mates
Think
Humor
Smarter
Thinking
Animal
Date
Movie
Dating
Funny
Quick
Nature
Kingdom
Sniff

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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