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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
Adam Ferrara
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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Humor
Sleep
Funny
Sincerely
Girl
Dating
Weren
Meant
Girls
Meet
More quotes by Adam Ferrara
The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
Adam Ferrara
As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
Adam Ferrara
I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
Adam Ferrara
If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
Adam Ferrara
If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
Adam Ferrara
I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
Adam Ferrara
I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
Adam Ferrara
I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
Adam Ferrara
The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
Adam Ferrara