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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Devil
Difference
Humor
Differences
Religious
Dating
Funny
Broke
Reason
Catholic
Many
Reasons

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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
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I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
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