Quote

I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Things
Use
Humor
Keep
Turn
Night
Hear
Light
Middle
Part
Nice
Used
Turns
Peeing
Trying
Water
Bathroom
Make
Funny
Dating

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
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I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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