Quote

I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Used
Turns
Peeing
Trying
Water
Bathroom
Make
Funny
Dating
Things
Use
Humor
Keep
Turn
Night
Hear
Light
Middle
Part
Nice

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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