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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Thinking
Move
Either
Phrase
Funny
Uses
Moving
Dating
Use
Phrases
Means
Whenever
Mean
Paint
Something
Humor

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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