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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
Adam Ferrara
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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Dad
Car
Spend
Guy
Working
Bigs
Wanted
Time
More quotes by Adam Ferrara
I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
Adam Ferrara
There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
Adam Ferrara
Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
Adam Ferrara
I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
Adam Ferrara
I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
Adam Ferrara
I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
Adam Ferrara
I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
Adam Ferrara
I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
Adam Ferrara
I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
Adam Ferrara
My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
Adam Ferrara
I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
Adam Ferrara