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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Rain
Nobody
Stay
Home
Raining
Like
Frogs
Terrified
California
Drive

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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
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As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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