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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
Adam Ferrara
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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Used
Car
Work
Limits
Much
Hold
Pretty
Ability
Mechanical
Jobs
Abilities
Father
Cars
Light
Limit
More quotes by Adam Ferrara
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
Adam Ferrara
Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
Adam Ferrara
Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
Adam Ferrara
I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
Adam Ferrara
I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
Adam Ferrara
What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
Adam Ferrara
My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
Adam Ferrara
My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
Adam Ferrara
The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
Adam Ferrara
I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
Adam Ferrara
One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
Adam Ferrara
I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
Adam Ferrara
My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
Adam Ferrara
I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
Adam Ferrara
If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
Adam Ferrara
You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
Adam Ferrara
The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
Adam Ferrara
There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
Adam Ferrara
The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
Adam Ferrara
I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
Adam Ferrara