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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Funny
Hungry
Women
Cause
Would
Humor
Food
Causes
Talk
Face
Faces

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
Adam Ferrara
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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
Adam Ferrara