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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Nice
Hope
Tell
Meets
Girlfriend
Married
Wants
Somebody

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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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