If you like standup and decide that it's overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show.

Shakespeare was a smart dude. He was the president of Rome.

I'm always thinking, 'my career is over, I have to move back to Omaha, and work on the railroad, with the rest of my family. So no, I'm never thinking I've 'arrived.' I think that's a good way to be.

Jealousy is the worst trait in any person.

You can shoot a show and have it not air. It's not real until it's airing.

A funny thing is that you can't search me on Twitter because Adam Levine dominates there.

We [me and friends] like to have surprising stories, but the dynamic and the friendship is the same. When you go out with your crew of friends and you get into trouble, at the end of the night when you come home, you're still the same crew of friends. It's just the story that you have to tell.

The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about honesty being the best policy. Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to lie. Those are the relationships that last.

It's really about committing super-hard to whatever you're trying to create. In essence, I'm just copying my favorite comedic actors, and it's the people who make me laugh the hardest who commit the hardest.

In high school I was worried about singing in a choir not being a cool thing, like I want girls to like me so I don't want to do something that's not cool. But, in fact, if you do something you like to do and you're good at it, you're going to find someone who will like you for that reason.

Comics know that they do best. They might not be best to rewrite to another person's comedy, but they know what is best for them. Luckily, I come from both a writing background - with 'Workaholics' - and I also act in what I've written.

People want to be friends with someone who likes to have a good time.

That's another piece of advice: Don't go to college follow your dreams. Unless you're a doctor - then go to college.