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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Used
Lawyers
Settle
Settling
Lawyer
Hand
Common
Sense
Fist
Hands
Fists
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
Adam Carolla
Don’t do your best, do my best.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
Adam Carolla
I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
Adam Carolla
I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
Adam Carolla
The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
Adam Carolla
I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
Adam Carolla
When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
Adam Carolla
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
Adam Carolla
People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
Adam Carolla
When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.
Adam Carolla
If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
Adam Carolla
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
Adam Carolla
I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
Adam Carolla
I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla
I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
Adam Carolla
I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.
Adam Carolla
