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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Hand
Common
Fist
Sense
Fists
Hands
Lawyers
Used
Settle
Settling
Lawyer
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
Adam Carolla
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
Adam Carolla
All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
Adam Carolla
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
Adam Carolla
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
Adam Carolla
You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
Adam Carolla
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
Adam Carolla
It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
Adam Carolla
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
Adam Carolla
Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
Adam Carolla
I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
Adam Carolla
I am not a good cue card reader.
Adam Carolla
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
Adam Carolla
You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
Adam Carolla
I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
Adam Carolla
