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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Feels
Blown
Great
Wearing
Like
Gay
Realize
Realizing
Getting
Look
Crocs
Looks
Dude
More quotes by Adam Carolla
If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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