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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Look
Crocs
Looks
Dude
Feels
Blown
Great
Wearing
Like
Gay
Realize
Realizing
Getting
More quotes by Adam Carolla
No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
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