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I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Future
Back
Feel
Feels
Time
Like
Annoyed
Traveler
Sent

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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
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Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
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