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California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Looks
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Falling
California
Apart
High
Getting
Blond
Fall
Chick
School
Chicks
More quotes by Adam Carolla
All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
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There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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