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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Someone
Like
Advance
Judge
Smell
Judging
Asking

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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I get depressed at airports.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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