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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Smell
Judging
Asking
Someone
Like
Advance
Judge

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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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