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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Time
Life
More quotes by Adam Carolla
It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
Adam Carolla
I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
Adam Carolla
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
Adam Carolla
I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
There are certain things women are better at than men.
Adam Carolla
