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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Time
Life

More quotes by Adam Carolla

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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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