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That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Thing
Comedy
Love
Sports
Acting
Stops
Force
Quit
Comes
Quitting
Dream
Till
Ever
Pursue
Writing
Nobody
More quotes by Adam Carolla
We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
Adam Carolla
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
Adam Carolla
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
Adam Carolla
It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
Adam Carolla
If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
Adam Carolla
Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
Adam Carolla
The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
Adam Carolla
I get depressed at airports.
Adam Carolla
You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
Adam Carolla
The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
Adam Carolla
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
Adam Carolla
I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
Adam Carolla
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
Adam Carolla
I'd never hurt another person.
Adam Carolla
I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
Adam Carolla
I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
Adam Carolla
The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
Adam Carolla
I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
Adam Carolla
I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
Adam Carolla
All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
Adam Carolla
