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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Spend
Walking
Somebody
Whether
Else
Find
Rembrandt
Never
Museum
Life
Museums
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I'd never hurt another person.
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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
Adam Carolla
