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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Whether
Else
Find
Rembrandt
Never
Museum
Life
Museums
Spend
Walking
Somebody
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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