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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Humor
Funny
Left
Two
Pizza
Things
Session
Never
Finished
Behinds
Behind
More quotes by Adam Carolla
There are certain things women are better at than men.
Adam Carolla
The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
Adam Carolla
California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
Adam Carolla
Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
Adam Carolla
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
Adam Carolla
It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
Adam Carolla
I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
Adam Carolla
I know everything because I know nothing.
Adam Carolla
You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
Adam Carolla
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
Adam Carolla
If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
Adam Carolla
I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
Adam Carolla
People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
Adam Carolla
Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
Adam Carolla
A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
Adam Carolla
To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
Adam Carolla
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
Adam Carolla
In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
Adam Carolla
All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
Adam Carolla
Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
Adam Carolla