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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Two
Pizza
Things
Session
Never
Finished
Behinds
Behind
Humor
Funny
Left
More quotes by Adam Carolla
There are certain things women are better at than men.
Adam Carolla
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.
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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
Adam Carolla
The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
Adam Carolla
Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
Adam Carolla
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
Adam Carolla
I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
Adam Carolla
I'd never hurt another person.
Adam Carolla
Welfare is monetary methadone.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
Adam Carolla
