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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Behinds
Behind
Humor
Funny
Left
Two
Pizza
Things
Session
Never
Finished
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
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