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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Behinds
Behind
Humor
Funny
Left
Two
Pizza
Things
Session
Never
Finished
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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