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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Two
Pizza
Things
Session
Never
Finished
Behinds
Behind
Humor
Funny
Left
More quotes by Adam Carolla
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
Adam Carolla
It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
Adam Carolla
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
Adam Carolla
Don’t do your best, do my best.
Adam Carolla
No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
Adam Carolla
Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
Adam Carolla
I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
Adam Carolla
I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
Adam Carolla
It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
Adam Carolla
When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
Adam Carolla
The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
Adam Carolla
All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
Adam Carolla
Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
Adam Carolla
I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla
Welfare is monetary methadone.
Adam Carolla
I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
Adam Carolla
I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
Adam Carolla
You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
Adam Carolla
If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
Adam Carolla
