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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Driving
Humor
Greater
Chance
Tammy
Actually
Mercedes
Funny
Chick
Chicks
Named
More quotes by Adam Carolla
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
Adam Carolla
That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
Adam Carolla
Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything they just don't vote that way.
Adam Carolla
Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
Adam Carolla
I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
Adam Carolla
When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
Adam Carolla
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
Adam Carolla
My first car was a motorcycle.
Adam Carolla
