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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Funny
Two
Give
Orgasms
Women
Types
Giving
Fake
None
Type
Humor
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything they just don't vote that way.
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I get depressed at airports.
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