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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
Adam Carolla
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TAGS & TOPICS
Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Women
Types
Giving
Fake
None
Type
Humor
Funny
Two
Give
Orgasms
More quotes by Adam Carolla
It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
Adam Carolla
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
Adam Carolla
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
Adam Carolla
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
Adam Carolla
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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I don't know anything about computers.
Adam Carolla
My motto is more mystery, less history.
Adam Carolla
Welfare is monetary methadone.
Adam Carolla
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
Adam Carolla
