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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Grow
Grows
Fudge
Funny
Triple
White
Packing
People
Asian
Fast
Humor
College
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla
If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
Adam Carolla
Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
Adam Carolla
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
Adam Carolla
I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
Adam Carolla
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
Adam Carolla
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
Adam Carolla
I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
Adam Carolla
I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
Adam Carolla
Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
Adam Carolla
If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
Adam Carolla
Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
Adam Carolla
Don’t do your best, do my best.
Adam Carolla
California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
Adam Carolla
I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
Adam Carolla
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
Adam Carolla
I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
Adam Carolla
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
Adam Carolla
A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
Adam Carolla