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You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Funny
Home
Goth
Going
Clubs
Wait
Kill
Humor
Waiting
Dies

More quotes by Adam Carolla

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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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