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You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Humor
Waiting
Dies
Funny
Home
Goth
Going
Clubs
Wait
Kill
More quotes by Adam Carolla
You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
Adam Carolla
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
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I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I don't know anything about computers.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
Adam Carolla
When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
Adam Carolla
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
Adam Carolla
It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
Adam Carolla
I know everything because I know nothing.
Adam Carolla
I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
Adam Carolla