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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Funny
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King
Kings
Sodomy
Sex
Revise
Humor
Oral
System
Include
Getting
Base
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
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It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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