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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Funny
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First
King
Kings
Sodomy
Sex
Revise
Humor
Oral
System
Include
Getting
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More quotes by Adam Carolla
I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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I don't know anything about computers.
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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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I'd never hurt another person.
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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
Adam Carolla
