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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Funny
Sexual
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Bases
First
King
Kings
Sodomy
Sex
Revise
Humor
Oral
System
Include
Getting
Base
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
Adam Carolla
When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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I'd never hurt another person.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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