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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Sex
Revise
Humor
Oral
System
Include
Getting
Base
Funny
Sexual
Firsts
Bases
First
King
Kings
Sodomy
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything they just don't vote that way.
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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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