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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Four
Weeks
Funny
Miles
Next
Million
Two
Road
Trying
Months
Something
Humor
Hash
Really
Week
Potentially
Life
Millions
Mile
More quotes by Adam Carolla
I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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My motto is more mystery, less history.
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Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
Adam Carolla
