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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Next
Million
Two
Road
Trying
Months
Something
Humor
Hash
Really
Week
Potentially
Life
Millions
Mile
Four
Weeks
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Miles

More quotes by Adam Carolla

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I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything they just don't vote that way.
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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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I don't know anything about computers.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
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If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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