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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Life
Millions
Mile
Four
Weeks
Funny
Miles
Next
Million
Two
Road
Trying
Months
Something
Humor
Hash
Really
Week
Potentially

More quotes by Adam Carolla

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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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My motto is more mystery, less history.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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