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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Two
Road
Trying
Months
Something
Humor
Hash
Really
Week
Potentially
Life
Millions
Mile
Four
Weeks
Funny
Miles
Next
Million
More quotes by Adam Carolla
My motto is more mystery, less history.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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