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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Represent
John
Wants
Public
Guy
Needs
Every
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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I don't know anything about computers.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
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The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.
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