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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Public
Guy
Needs
Every
Like
Represent
John
Wants

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Everyone keeps saying, Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating. It's like saying, How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt? I don't care.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
Adam Carolla
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I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.
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When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
Adam Carolla
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
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