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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Needs
Every
Like
Represent
John
Wants
Public
Guy

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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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I'd never hurt another person.
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