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I'd never hurt another person.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Never
Hurt
Another
Persons
Person

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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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