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I'd never hurt another person.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Person
Never
Hurt
Another
Persons

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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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My motto is more mystery, less history.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine I just happen to be from that world.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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