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I'm a comedian, not a politician.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Comedian
Politician

More quotes by Adam Carolla

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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
Adam Carolla
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I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
Adam Carolla
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
Adam Carolla
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
Adam Carolla
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
Adam Carolla
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything they just don't vote that way.
Adam Carolla
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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
Adam Carolla
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I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
Adam Carolla
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
Adam Carolla
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
Adam Carolla
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
Adam Carolla
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
Adam Carolla
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
Adam Carolla
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
Adam Carolla
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
Adam Carolla
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
Adam Carolla
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
Adam Carolla
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People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.
Adam Carolla
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
Adam Carolla
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
Adam Carolla