Quote

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Enough
Think
Barr
Thinking
Dudes
Shepherd
Shepherds
Dude
Joy
Funny

More quotes by Adam Carolla

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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.
Adam Carolla
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
Adam Carolla
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There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
Adam Carolla
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
Adam Carolla