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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

Adam Carolla

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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Basically
Republican
Used
Democrat

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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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