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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Parent
Hurt
Nice
Feelings
Enough
Good
Hurting
Like
Interested
People
Parents
More quotes by Adam Carolla
You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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