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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 27
American Football Player
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
LA
California
Adam Lakers Carolla
Ace Rockolla
Recycl-A-Rolla
Ace in the Hole
Ace carolla
Carolla
Adam Corrolla
Adam corola
Adam corolla
Adam Carolla
Parent
Hurt
Nice
Feelings
Enough
Good
Hurting
Like
Interested
People
Parents
More quotes by Adam Carolla
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.
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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
Adam Carolla
